The Bacon-Fixer: A Tale of Flagstones, Filler, Firestop, Flitch, Fixtures, Flashing, and Fittings

Once upon a time, in a kingdom made of flagstones and bricks, there lived a little handyman named Fixer. He was known for his ability to fix anything and everything in the kingdom with his toolbox and knowledge.

One day, the King of the kingdom came to Fixer with a problem. His castle was having trouble with fire and he needed someone to help firestop the walls. Fixer was up for the task and set off to the castle with his toolbox in hand.

When he arrived, he noticed that the walls were not only in need of firestopping, but also needed new fixtures and fittings. Fixer got to work, and before he knew it, the day had flown by and the sun was setting.

As Fixer was packing up his tools, he realized that he had used up all of his filler and had none left to complete the job. He scratched his head, thinking of what he could do when suddenly, an idea struck him.

He remembered the large flitch of bacon he had in his toolbox from his lunch. He thought to himself, "Bacon is flammable, why not use it as a filler?" So, he carefully placed slices of bacon in the gaps between the stones and covered it with flashing.

The next day, the King and his subjects were astounded to find that the castle walls not only looked better, but also smelled delicious! The bacon-filled walls were a hit and became a famous attraction in the kingdom. People from all over came to see the "Bacon Castle".

Fixer was hailed as a hero and was known throughout the kingdom as the "Bacon-Fixer". From that day on, whenever there was a fire, people would say "Don't worry, the Bacon-Fixer will save us!"

And that, children, is the story of how a handyman and a flitch of bacon saved a kingdom. The end.

Reflections

  1. What was Fixer's job in the kingdom?
  2. What problem did the King come to Fixer with?
  3. What did Fixer use as a filler in the castle walls?
  4. How did the kingdom react to the bacon-filled walls?
  5. What was Fixer's new nickname after the incident at the castle?
  6. Why was Fixer hailed as a hero in the kingdom?
  7. Can you think of any other creative solutions Fixer could have used instead of bacon?

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